Some of the FutureLearn writers set up a writing competition, a story about a haunted computer. Feeling mischievous, I submitted this piece of doggerel. When they saw how bad it was they promptly blocked me.

They call me a troll, they do, they do,
But I’m really a ghost, whoo hoo, whoo hoo.
I regularly haunt the PSU coils,
Their screen turns blue,
And their temper boils.
They have to switch off.
And I smile as they rave,
They typed it all in
But forgot to press Save.

They say I’m a troll, oh yes, oh yes,
But I am a spirit, oh bless, oh bless.
I’m ectoplasm in the ALU slot
If I find an AND,
I make it a NOT,
The grass turns to pink,
And their faces turn green,
They blame Photoshop,
But it’s me being mean.

I am not a troll, oh no, oh no,
Only a fool who won’t go, won’t go.
The USB is my favourite port.
When they try to print,
The paper is caught.
I screw it all up,
They look and it’s flat
They can’t find the jam,
It’s me being a pr@t.

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